I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
