True but thats because hes a fetus.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just want nice things and good sex
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize