There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
