We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
dude. I can hear the air.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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