I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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