so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize