when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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