I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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