she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize