I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
