getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize