just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
