Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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