weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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