I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
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Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
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My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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