it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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