I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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