Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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