Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize