Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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