You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize