hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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