Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
