it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
