Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
