I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
