And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I am full of burrito and curiosity
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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