There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize