I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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