I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Acid is not a monday night drug
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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