i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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