My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
