We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
