I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hippo gnu deer
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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