dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We left the knife in your bed.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
