i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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