u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
