WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize