Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
