So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
