If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The power of my boobs compel you
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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