i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
