i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
