i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
