Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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