You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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