Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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