I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
