make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
