It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
