then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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