I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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