I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
