i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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