I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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