How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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